*Rita is sitting out by the lake enjoying the weather and writing down some ideas for articles*

*is sitting on her bed reflecting on the past weeks events and attempting to make some semblance of a newspaper*

*walking around the halls attempting to hide with her giant sunglasses on, scarf covering her now, thanks to Veronica, bald head, and trying to find someone to fix her hair*

*sits in great hall watching the few people sitting with pen in hand*

I'll never get I story with so many people gone. Without my quill to, today just sucks. Probably those freakin' Slytherins. Must find, or at least get a little fraction of, information to start a story. I'll have mother send me a new quill.

Ugg! 

Where did I put my quick quotes quill this is the third time this week. 

*bumps head on top of desk, and then rubs spot in pain*

Ernie probably never gave it back last time I gave it to him, that little bugger. I thought I had an other one...

Anyone who knows where it is, I want it back.

OK, WHICH ONE OF YOU BLACKGUARDS GAVE ME MONO? THANKS TO YOU, I MISSED THE MAJORITY OF THE HOGSMEADE VISIT. 

MERLIN, I'M SO CONGESTED.

Think of all the possible stories I missed. ARGH.

...apparently the Skeeter Scoop has not been received happily by a few select students. Hmph. A certain someone took the liberty of notifying Dumbledore about their displeasure. 

So he gave me this speech about "respect" and "giving others privacy". Rubbish. Now, thanks to that lily-livered, no-good, back-stabbing snitch, my publishing privileges have been suspended indefinitely. And thirty points taken from Ravenclaw. AND all my earnings have been snatched up too. Unbelievable. 

Someone go dump Narcissa Black in a vat of boiling squid oil. Or ink. Either is fine.

Must be available at all times and provide their own camera. Salary will be discussed. Should be obedient and submissive.

A certain amount of discretion, too, is preferred.